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The Skinny:
Hayden Christensen plays a young man who can “jump” to any place in the world just by thinking really hard about it. Yep, that’s the whole story folks!

The Good:
The film’s premise is definitely one of those “Oh man, I wish I could do that!” kind of things I thought about as a kid, and it is mildly amusing to watch Hayden zip around the world, and explore the freedom of his new powers. I can’t think of many more positive things to say except that Rachel Bilson, playing Hayden’s girlfriend, does exactly what is asked of her character (pout a lot).

The Bad:
While Jumper’s concept has potential, it clearly wasn’t thought out very well, because there is no further definition of Hayden’s character or powers to make him a well-balanced hero. For example, Superman can always take the “easy way” out and fly away from danger, but not if the bad guy has Kryptonite! In this case, Hayden doesn’t really have a Kryptonite. The bad guys just need to be fast enough to catch him like a rat. So it’s hard to feel nervous for Hayden in tense situations when he can be half away across the world in a blink of an eye. On a nerdy side note, I’d think eventually the bad guys pursuing him would give up after a few of his “jumps,” given how expensive plane tickets are, and how tight airport security is getting :-).

The Ugly:
Samuel L. Jackson sports blond hair, perhaps to try and somehow differentiate this character from the 24,391 other bad/angry guys he’s played.

The Bottom Line:
I hate to get caught up in a reality check again, but after you see the film, ask yourself this: wouldn’t this have all been over a lot sooner if Hayden just “jumped” Sam Jackson during their first encounter? Then again, if he did that, this movie never would have existed. And that would be fine with me.

Score:

Technorati tags: Jumper, movie reviews

The Skinny:
After a particularly tough hit, two assassins cool off in the little town of Bruges.

The Good:
Yeah, I know, it doesn’t sound like a very interesting movie based on my description - and that’s what I was thinking too. However, I was pleasantly surprised that this film had a good mix of action, drama and comedy - not a combo that gets successfully pulled off very often.

But the biggest surprise for me was Colin Farrell. I’ve never bought into his hype as an actor, and frankly, I haven’t enjoyed a single film of his - particularly his mumbling mulletaciousness in Miami Vice or the soul-numbing touching and twirling in The New World. But here, Colin shows some real energy, humor, and likability that plays great against his counterpart, Brendan Gleeson. Ralph Fiennes is also entertaining as their boss who has an affection for spouting profanities and losing his temper.

Along with the acting, I liked the story because it was not at all what I expected it to be. Now I know that we should say that about every movie, right? But too many times we watch movies and within about 15 minutes, we kind of know roughly what to expect. That’s not the case here. I won’t go into detail, but let me just say that I never expected to be so interested in events involving hitmen, midgets, movie sets and shoot-outs.

The Bad:
Unfortunately, I think the movie really falls apart at the end. The big action scene that the film builds up to goes on for way too long, and turns into a Wile E. Coyote chase - except not as interesting. Then there is a moment where all credibility for the movie was flushed down the pooper for me: a character suffers an injury that would absolutely, positively, without a doubt have killed him. But the character lives long enough to raise his head, look around, and even talk. Now I know movies aren’t supposed to be real, but when the story has followed mostly “real world” rules for its whole run time and then pulls a move like this, I feel cheated.

The Ugly:
The aforementioned fatal injury. That guy will certainly never dance again.

The Bottom Line:
I really, really liked about 70% of the movie, but the taste of the crappy 30% is still in my mouth.

Score:

Technorati tags: In Bruges, movie reviews

The Skinny:
After the United States suspects him of being a terrorist, Reece Witherspoon’s husband is held against his will - and without her knowledge - in a secret CIA detention center.

The Good:
The way the US treats suspected terrorists is certainly a relevant topic, so the writers had a wide open window of opportunity to make a movie that is both politically controversial and emotionally stimulating at the same time.

The Bad:
It doesn’t do either one of those things. And I’m really bummed about that, because I was looking forward to this movie quite a bit. I can’t say I was exactly bored, as the handling of the prisoner and the events surrounding his alleged capture are fairly interesting. But I think the core problem here is that the most interesting stuff was either left out or cut out of the film.

I can’t articulate this point without spoilers, but suffice to say there are some obstacles for Witherspoon’s husband towards the end of the film that seem to promise some heart-pounding excitement, a possible chase sequence, and all sorts of logistical problems for him to overcome. Instead, that sequence is just skipped, and the end result of his journey presented, leaving me with some major believability issues. As a result, I felt a bit cheated.

Also, a medical professional needs to check out Jake Gyllenhaal’s face. Either he has been paralyzed from the neck up, or he’s invented some sort of acting method that is supposed to make it look like Keanu Reeves has talent.

The Ugly:
The movie pulls this shiesty time-twisting move where I literally had to press pause and go “What, did they just totally jack with the timeline for no reason? Or did I get sucked into a worm hole and we’re watching Vantage Point again?” The maneuver is really uncalled for and totally pulled Aim and I out of the experience.

The Bottom Line:
One definition of rendition is:

An explanation of something that is not immediately obvious.

I’ll tell you what was not immediately obvious when I started this movie: that it was gonna stink.

Score:

Technorati tags: Rendition, movie reviews

The Skinny:
Nicolas Cage (and his hair) embark on a journey to find a missing girl on a private island in the midst of a secret neo-pagan community.

The Good:
As much as the acting and storyline was absolute garbage, I was at least 11% invested in it (I only need to be about 10% into a film to finish it all the way through), and was somewhat satisfied with the ending.

The Bad:
Oh my gosh. Let me put it another way: what’s NOT bad? Well, to say the story is dumb and confusing is like saying the ocean is a bit damp. And this is one case where I don’t need (or want) to backup my gripes with specifics.

Because even if the story was semi-coherent, the acting is literally - and I’m pretty sure unintentionally - laughable. There’s one scene in particular where Nick arrives at the mysterious island, and three women try to warn him of problems/danger in a creepy way. But the dialogue is so awkward and bad that I swear the actresses must’ve had to do the scene a dozen times just to keep themselves from laughing. And Nick has a few funny lines of his own that he delivers with the seriousness of an angry bull, particularly when he draws his gun on a woman riding a bicycle and grunts out, “Step away from the bike!” Another great line is, “Owww! My leeeegggs!” which is somehow even more humorous because you don’t see what’s happening to him.

The Ugly:
The movie’s “big scene” features Nick in a bear costume, running around and yelling at people. If that doesn’t stear you clear of seeing The Wicker Man, I don’t know what will.

The Bottom Line:
According to Wikipedia, a wicker man is a wicker effigy that is burned as a human sacrifice by the ancient Gauls. So if you really want to have a wicker man experience, I’ll come over to your house and set it on fire while you perish inside. I guarantee you that will be less painful than watching this film.

Score:

Technorati tags: The Wicker Man, movie reviews

The Skinny:
An assassination attempt on the president is shown over and over again from the vantage point of about 1,249 people.

The Good:
I love non-conventional storytelling, so I went into this movie expecting to have some fun while trying to figure out “whodunit.” And I’m a big fan of Dennis Quaid. On my list of favorite celebrities who look awesome when they’re scowling, I think Denny is in my top five.

Other good actors are sprinkled throughout the film, such as Forest Whitaker as a slightly cooky videographer, and Sigourney Weaver (where’s she been hiding?) as a news producer. Her talent is pretty much wasted in the role, but it’s good to see her again. Siggy, if you’re reading this, I hope you plan on making Aliens 16 soon.

The Bad:
Although I like the “keep showing the same story from different perspectives” thing, the fact of the matter is the story is just not very engaging or clever enough to justify retelling a zillion times. I mean, the first few times I was watching the screen like a hawk, searching for clues, thinking that the movie was a puzzle for the viewers to figure out. But after seeing the events for the fifth and sixth time, it becomes clear that there really is no wizard behind the curtain, nor will there be a “gotcha” moment where the movie’s writers show how much smarter they are than us. In fact, the poor writing comes to a huge, wet, sloppy finish at the ending. It’s like the writers just threw up their hands and said “Lets finish writing this stinker and go get a pizza.”

I also need to point out that Matthew Fox (that one guy from Lost) is really, really terrible. No offense, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if he got stuck on a desert island with an Acting for Dummies book for a few years.

The Ugly:
At about the 17th time through the story, there is a twist so gosh-awfully unbelievable that Brinkley actually woke up from a deep sleep and threw up on the DVD cover in protest.

The Bottom Line:
Read this review 20 or 30 times, and much like Vantage Point, you’ll find there are really no surprises to be found.

Score:

Technorati tags: Vantage Point, movie reviews