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Flan wrestled with Cam (and was humiliated) for 7 hours straight. I boiled the match down to 6 1/2 minutes of highlights.

Saw this car parked outside my office, and curiosity got the best of me, so
I visited the Web site….AUGGGGHHH!!! My virgin eyes! Scratch them out
with an ice pick! Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Folks, Valleyfair makes it VERY clear that you are NOT to film your experience on their rides, such as the High Roller. In this video, cousin Tyler and I risk getting thrown out of the park so that you don’t have to.

Here’s cousin Tyler and I riding the Rock Bottom Vomit Drop Coaster (or something like that) and the Surf n’ Hurl (or something like that) at the Mall of America.

If you rent a U-Haul, they’ll make sure your stuff is totally sealed tite.  Maybe this isn’t really a word mistake.  Is it sorta like “Wendy’s is open all nite” instead of night?  I don’t get it…I mean, what a dumb way to shorten words like that.  You’re only saving yourself one letter!

I was somewhat intrigued by a stop sign I pulled up next to a few days ago.  It had a spraypainted message that you can’t see very well in this pic, and it’s a shame for someone to go to all that trouble of sharing an inspirational message, and then spell believing as beliving. 

Two years ago, my cousin Tyler and I got freaked out on Wild Thing at Valleyfair.  This year, it still made me scream like a newborn baby:

The Skinny: Kate Beckinsale plays a reporter who faces prison time unless she gives up a news story source.

The Good: Pretty decent performances by Beckinsale and Alan Alda, who plays her lawyer. And the story paints a pretty engrossing, grim picture of how a person’s rights can get thrown right out the window when the government wants something.

The Bad: This movie is apparently based on true events, and it’s clear that we as an audience are supposed to be absolutely blown away at how Beckinsale is treated during her interrogation and trial. Maybe I’ve seen too many movies, but I guess I already assumed a long time ago that if the FBI/CIA/government/etc. really wants some information from someone, they can do whatever they want until they get it. So the story didn’t exactly blow me away – it onlywhat might have meant to be fundamentally shocking in this movie didn’t get much out of me except a raised eyebrow or two.

The Ugly: Matt Dillon plays the prosecuting attorney, which I think we’re meant to hate. But after movies like There’s Something about Mary and Wild Things, I just can’t take him seriously. Even in a role like this, it still feels like he’s winking at the camera a little bit.

The Bottom Line: A decent watch, but the material isn’t “big” enough for the big screen. I might have taken it a bit more seriously on the Hallmark/Lifetime channel.

Technorati tags: Nothing But the Truth, movie reviews

The Skinny: Someone kidnapped Liam Neeson’s daughter!

The Good: Taken is one of those fantastic movies where the poster and taglines tell you exactly what you’re in for – no more, and no less. About five minutes in, it becomes clear that even though the film deals with some heavy topics, you aren’t going to need to wrestle with ethical and moral choices or give your brain too hard of a workout. You just need to know that Liam’s angry, and some bad guys are going be punched, shocked, stabbed and decapitated until he gets his daughter back. And although the film is ridiculous in its reality, Liam plays it so straight and so intense that it’s easy to just go along for the ride with him.

The Bad: The action sequences, which seem Bourne-inspired, needed some serious tweaking in the choreography department. I mean, I’m all for silly chases and gunfights, but when the bad guys are repeatedly within four inches of Liam and miss again and again (even with automatic weapons!), I start yawning again and again. On that note, someone may need to confirm this for me, but near the end of the movie, I’m pretty sure Liam gets shot twice and doesn’t seem to limp, bleed or have any side-effects immediately afterwards.

The Ugly: My paranoia after the movie was over. There are parts of the film that deal with women being sold into slavery in foreign countries, and I watched this movie on a plane to Mexico! So I probably left fingernail marks in Aimee’s arm the rest of the day…I was ready to punch anyone who even looked at her sideways.

The Bottom Line: Shift your brain into neutral, and enjoy.

Score:

Technorati tags: Taken, movie reviews

Thanks buddy – that’s the best Father’s Day card I could ever have wanted.